Thursday, August 9, 2007

The video.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3446679914086122365

I only now realize how silly it is not to have included a link to the video in the first place. While people who stumble upon the video first will get pretty much the entire story, people who come across this blog first may only be puzzled by the lack of any evidence of the supposedly important film.

11 comments:

Azirphaeli said...

It would be very interesting if we could get a copy with the sound intact.

Also, you said that there was alot of black 'nothingi-ness' and this small portion of video is all that was displayed.

Did you hear, or have you been made aware, of any sounds that were heard during the portions where no video was captured?

R.F. said...

When I said "nothingness", I meant just more of the large and relatively unremarkable expanse of tile surrounding the figure.

From what I remember, the sound there was about as continuous with the rest of the audio as possible. The audio seemed to follow a very, very loose pattern, though it may appear random if you were to only listen to a snippet of it.

More details on the audio can be found under the comments for "The end."

Scott said...

Might you be able to amuse us and post an unabridged version of the video? One that includes sound?

Azirphaeli said...

R.F.

I am very very interested in all of this, but find myself restricted by the information you initially chose to share.

Why all of this, when you are so willing to answer any questions we ask? There's obviously more we need to know if you want us to accurately interpet this video, so can you give us a hand please?

With more details, and definately without the audio, there's absolutely no way for us to look any deeper into this by ourselves. We absolutely need your help with this. What do you need us to do?

Mcgritts said...

R.F.

i was just wondering if where the person is standing on grid has any signigance? i mean if it is a position on the brain where would that be? if any? i understand that the brain would want to protect itself but what part would that be?

R.F. said...

Scott:

I wish it was possible. I feel that the lack of a full version of this film does hinder the ability to properly study and analyze it.

The problem is, I'm not even the person that took this copy. A friend who was probably the most-renowned person involved in the project was able to weasel himself a short amount of time to snatch up or make copies of important documents (I never really questioned the details surrounding this little adventure too much - there are times when, even as a scientist, it's best to keep your curiosity in check). The only copy he could find in the little time he had was this abridged copy. He didn't even know it was silent until viewing it later.

He passed along copies to those of us he didn't think would go and tell our former employers what had happened. Good thing too - I doubt we would've ever seen the video again if he hadn't.

Since I'm talking about this fellow anyway, I'd like to mention that I'd really like him to come by this blog (hint hint, buddy) and help write up some entries sometime. He's currently very busy working on some big project in Toronto, but I'm sure he could squeeze some time in to speak here at some point. He's been working in this field since the Vietnam War, where he was one of the first psychologists to help explain the seriousness and long-lasting effects of war-induced PTSD to the mainstream public.

Zirphaeli:

It's true that I have a lot to say about this project, but that's half the problem. To lay all that I've experienced and learned both during my work on the project and afterwards would take a tremendous amount of time. It was around July 12th this year, the anniversary of the experiment, that I finally decided I had to write something. For half a month, I struggled with figuring out how I would go about "spreading the word", and what I would even write about. Originally, I planned to write something of almost novel length, but I eventually decided to just cut the initial posts down to the necessary basics and answer any following questions as they came. I imagined many people would simply lose interest if the important details weren't singled out and made easier and quicker to comprehend.

Then there's the matter of how much time it'd take from me.

Even now I'm limited in when I can post. During the day I'm supporting my family with a project that, quite honestly, I couldn't be more indifferent to, and pretty much all spare time is consumed by independent research and family/social matters. I get more than a few hours of sleep in the early, early morning. The area that lies between midnight and dawn is pretty much the only time I can write to you all.

It would be helpful for you all to try and tell as many others about this as possible. I've sent links to this blog and video to various people (mostly those who worked on the original project), but I suspect only a handful of them have actually passed it along. You may be able to tell that I'm not incredibly internet savvy, and the websites I know I could submit this to I feel are places where it may be forgotten, ignored, or received badly. I've considered submitting the information I have to Coast to Coast AM, but I feel that would scare away people who are usually skeptical of the things associated with the fringe-types often featured on that program. To be honest though, it's still not entirely out of the question, and I suppose I should remember the old saying that "no publicity is bad publicity".

If it would help, you could suggest some things for me to update about regularly. I could do a lengthy post once a week about what hallucinations I've had, and from to time I could post about what my former coworkers have been up to, though I feel that they would be uncomfortable detailing exactly what hallucinations they've had.

For now, I really don't think anything will take off without more readers.

Mcgritts:

His position on the grid more than likely doesn't have any physical counterpart. This is the subconscious we're talking about - it really doesn't have any tangible, physical manifestations. The brain acts almost like a projector: it simply creates the image.

However, that doesn't mean his position doesn't have some sort of meaning. He could've easily appeared in front of us from the beginning, but he chose to create the illusion of us approaching him. Of course, it's already been mentioned that many assumed the illusion of us approaching him was created by the subject's mind to emphasize a perceived intrusion on our part.

almijisti said...

By all means, posting your own hallucination experiences might prove helpful.

I am also wondering if the various electrical devices used to monitor the subject might have created a very low-level electromagnetic field that triggered the subconscious images. Such devices have been patented by H. Loos and others in recent years in order to work with autistic patients. If this is possible, then the same EM field might have also triggered latent images and sounds that you and your colleagues are now experiencing as hallucinations.

R.F. said...

Hmm. I think I will start doing regular updates that will be composed of my hallucinations and any further developments.

The possibility of the machinery affecting the subject's mind was one of the first issues to be addressed. We had technicians, electrophysiologists, neurologists, somnologists, and even oneirologists examine the machine and reading process before, during, and after the experiment. It was determined that while there was a slight chance the presence and knowledge of the experiment may affect what the subject thought about, it would, in the simplest of terms, not affect how he thought about things.

As for the possibility of the machinery affecting us, that too was examined. Everyone who was involved seemed pretty confident that it was perfectly safe - both mentally and physically.

They could have been wrong.

I've thought over and over about what could be causing our hallucinations. Do they originate from the stress we underwent and still feel? Are they caused by a combination of that and the anger and disappointment we feel over the cancellation of the project? Is it some new disorder that, for some reason, only affects people who have peeked into the minds of their fellow man? Certainly it's not simply seeing the video itself. If it was, everyone who's commented on this blog would be hallucinating. Maybe you have to be certain of its reality for it have an effect on you. I don't know. There's a lot I'm not sure about these days.

I'm going to go over probably the most personal and upsetting experience I've had post-Red King. I didn't mention it initially because I reasoned it simply being a case of spontaneous memory loss and a nightmare. The truth is, I just don't like talking about it, and, it being a one time thing, there's no solid connection between this incident and the actual project.

I had a very vivid nightmare once. I woke up in my bed in the middle of the night, and there was just this very quiet tapping at my bedroom door. No screaming. I got up and, assuming it was my youngest daughter, opened it. It was a little boy I'd never seen in my life. He was short, and I remember he had very big, dark eyes. He grabs me by the hand and leads me down the hallway. At some point, I look at him and... I didn't think anything of it at the time, but he was like... like a human sketch. He just didn't seem like he was actually complete. There was something else, too.

I know many doubt you can see colors in dreams, but I know that boy was blue.

Well, like I said, that just wasn't a big deal to me for some reason. He leads me downstairs, and we sit in chairs and face the glass doors that lead out onto my back porch. At some point I guess he disappeared. I just sort of watch as complete darkness overtakes what little light there is outside. A few moments later, and I'm randomly standing in my kitchen during the day and speaking with my oldest daughter. My wife walks in the front door, and her face is being hidden. I can't see her face.

Once again, the surrealism of such a thing does not affect me.

I sense something's upset her. I approach her as she's sitting down, and I suddenly see her face. It's wrong. She doesn't have eyes or a nose... just hair, ears, and a mouth. Even those features are distorted. I try to help her, my dream logic telling me there's some sort of treatment for a malady where one suddenly has only half a face. This dark gunk's coming out of her ears. She's remained silent, but I know she's not happy.

I tried to claw the flesh off of where her eyes and nose should've been with my bare hands. I'm doing this, and she starts to make this creaky, groaning sound. I finally break skin, and all that comes out is more gunk. After that, she lets out a scream that I don't even like to think about. It was like a cross between a shout from a terrified human, a siren, and a whale song.

I woke up almost instantly after that.

In the morning, I discovered an old, green pickup truck in my driveway. I've apparently had the thing for years. I don't remember it at all. I've looked at family pictures where it can be seen in, I've looked through the truck itself, I've asked my wife as much about it as I can. I simply don't remember it at all. I have another car that's much more useful for someone like myself. Why do I even need a pickup truck?

I don't know. I've tried to connect it to my dream, but I've had no success. None of it matches up. I'm nervous about mentioning it to other people - even my old coworkers who may have experienced the same. I have to force myself to keep in mind that the truck has always existed. The first steps into true insanity always begin when you start to accept your delusions.

This memory loss is more disturbing than any hallucinations or nightmares to me. I didn't feel like writing about it at first, but you're right. It's best I get some of this stuff off of my chest. Hopefully this will be the last time it happens until I'm old and senile.

I don't feel like talking about this anymore. It's convenient if I choose to sleep now.

Mcgritts said...

this mite seem like an odd question that you probably wouldnt know...but did the subject own truck like the one your describing?reason is what if somehow youve got the subconsciousness crossed or mixed up or something along those lines.....

Sartor said...

Perhaps, sir, a look in your truck's glove box might assist your memory. Are there documents with your name on them? Is there anything in the truck?

-an interested reader

R.F. said...

Mcgritts:

I honestly have no idea what kind of vehicle he drove in his regular life.

The truck is one of the few odd things about my life that I know is not a hallucination. In my household, I am the only who hears or sees the hallucinations, but everyone can see the truck. Everyone remembers the truck. My oldest daughter claims I started teaching her to drive in it because its age and lack of use meant it wouldn't matter if she made a mistake and had a fender bender. Everything except my own memory points to the truck and my history with it being undoubtedly real.

Sartor:

All the necessary documents proving ownership exist. When I looked through the truck, the glove box was one of the first things I went through. Typical documents, driver's manual, flashlight, a pair of gloves, some travel guides and maps, some spare money, etc. Just the regular stuff you'd find in any automobile.